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july3rd

July3rd
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LOOKIE. [
August 23
]

press.Collapse )
4

cancer. [
August 11
]
[ mood | high ]




hi.

3

Untitled [
July 22
]

 It has been awhile since I updated.  Chicago was beyond amazing. I got to hang out with the greatest guy, Andrew. I got my septum pierced, courstey of Mr. Poppe. We had a blast there. We are moving there in about a year and a half. Thank god. I am going to see the number 12 looks like you soon at the end of the month. Hopefully with this boy I met named Baron. He wants to go so I'm hoping we will meet up. I just have to add, I love Heather and Andrew. They are amazing.
some pictures of the week.



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1

chicago pictures. [
July 19
]
There is no place on earth I love more than Chicago Illinois, a little over a year and I will be living in the city.
bookstore.
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2

666 number of the beast. [
June 6
]
[ mood | apathetic ]


the only picture I have of my sidekick, i've had him for about 8 months and I do not go a second without it. You can't see the bumpers but they are just like the heart. white bumpers with swarovski crystals. 40 fucking bucks for those. ha. Survery time. Oh its also 6606. Which fucking means, its the number of the beast and THE FUCKING OMEN opens today, all of us have tickets for the 10:30 showing at Springdale. I believe it is Me, Heather, Stephen, Stephen's friend from Loyola, Brittany, Jen, and possibly Jay, Jen's boyfriend who likes Detroit BUT they lost ahahah:) sorry had to add that.

Also with that said, Thursday starts NBA FINALS. DALLAS VS. miami. Guess who is my team, yeah The mavericks. DIRKDIRK.

survery time.
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2

[
May 11
]
well, surgery was on Tuesday. I'm doing well, doped up on vicodon and nicotine. they cut out a big piece of bone and i got to keep it. hahaha. I can't walk at all and its quite funny to watch me try.
i have pictures for your amusement.



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4

[
May 5
]
soo daddy just bought me a 30gb video ipod, black.
why do i need 10,000 fucking songs? I don't, but it was free  because he has connections.

tonight heather and i are drinking virgin margaritas and dancing.

yeah, it should be neat.

surgery is tuesday. i get my new sidekickII tomorrow. ive missed it.
ha jealous. i sound spoiled. i really am not.

oh, new mexico vacation this july. grammy and grandpa are celebrating their 50th/ im going to my parents old home, roswell to indulge in alien culture. and to carlsbad. i hate the heat, did i mention that?
1

and she has a plan. [
April 18
]
[ mood | exhausted ]

As normal, life has been simple. I love simplicity. My days consist of sleeping, internet, laying and talking with Stephen, smoking up to two packs and the occasional phone call. I really enjoy it. I do have something kind of huge coming up. Saturday, Andrew himself, is driving here from Chicago to see Alkaline Trio with me. I am beyond fucking excited. Its been almost 3 years since I've seen him. I think it will be quite relaxing. I feel the need to let everyone know who does know already my plans of my life.  Everyone who knows me personally and talks me daily knows already. I am going to attend Xavier University in 07. From there I am going to major in Pre Med. I want nothing more to minor in Philosophy but, pre med is tough as fuck. I do not think I will have the time. The reason why I am going pre med is because after Xavier I am going to med school.. duh and specializing in Psychiatry another duh. to become what? another duh, a psychiatrist. Though, my interest in quantum physics/mechanics is growing.. shh, no no . psychiatry is where i belong or so I'm told by numerous people. eh. whatever this was point .

0

I'll never tell. [
April 17
]
[ mood | apathetic ]



me

My toes have spasms, you can see it in this photo. don't worry, im getting surgery the 25th for it.
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3

[
April 4
]
[ mood | groggy ]


my new hair. it looks a lot better in person. I take horrid photos, we know that.

2

speak. [
March 24
]
[ mood | blank ]

one should never speak.
only write.

you will only make a bigger fool out of yourself.

.and what does this mean? You can write but you cannot speak correctly?
a lack of social skills... I believe I covered that needed skill with images of happiness. False images actually. Who is one to say I've ever been happy? It's a lie I tell you. A lie. It is a false belief that I was once happy. I did, in fact, cover my social skills up with false images. I did. I do not think they will ever come back. Its hard to dig something out that has been buried for awhile...

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm content... I will never be the same. I'll never be the same.

I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll smile more, I promise. I'll smile everyday... ha, i'm lying. I will never smile.. It doesnt work. My happineass is the same as my loneliness. It doesn't matter.

Tonight we f
all. Tonight we will not wake up.
0

1:00 am. [
March 17
]
Tonight was nice. Very nice. Sushi, movie, milkshakes.

First we went to a sushi bar. We spent over 60 dollars on Sushi. Wonderful Green Tea. WONDERFUL Green Tea.
Sushi--Small Portion

We went to "The Hills have Eyes" I enjoyed it. You all know I am a sucker for bloody/fucked up movies. People were leaving in the movie. I guess it was too "graphic". Which it wasn't. I have seen far worse. After we went for milkshakes. I talked to a friend on the phone. Everyone is a go:). This is all I feel like updating right now.
xo

4

Absent. [
March 10
]
 Absent means, missing; not present. Too many things are absent in my life. Too many things have always been absent in my life. A best friend is one. I am always that girl who had friends, but not a best friend. No one would pry into my head enough to be worthy of a best friend. You almost lose hope after all these years of false friendships, false intentions. You become very narrow minded and bitter about whom you are friends with. You soon realize these actions are the soul reason you do not have any friends... You then think again.... Maybe that is a lie.. maybe that is not the reason. Stop feeding my mind with bullshit. If you are narrow minded and bitter on choosing friends, this does not result in destruction. It results in quality. It results in trust. It results in truce. It results in love. It results in the best god damn friends you could ask for. One should be picky when choosing friends. This will eliminate the pseudo like friends everyone has. All in all, I am very pleased with my group of friends. Though I have less than 10, I love them all. Ashli, she is a work of art. She is nothing less than wonderful. She is intelligent, funny, beautiful, HOT, loving. You name it, she has it. I love her. I would say for the first time in 17 years... I have a best friend. YOU GOT THAT, MELISSA HAS A BEST FRIEND. One I can discuss anything with. From time travel to sex.  She is lovely. I am soooo fucking grateful for her. Thank you Ms. Ashli. I LOVE YOU. There is also a girl that I have become really close to. Her name is Katie. If you are going by "social style" etc etc Katie and I would never cross paths. Yet, as I have learned over the years the ones who you believe you would have nothing in common with, are the ones that understand you better than anyone. Katie is 24, I'm 17. though she looks younger than I do;). She got carded at a R rated movie with me:) hehe. The thought process of our brains are soo alike its creepy. We understand everything the other one does. Its like I am talking to myself. Its sooo nice to have someone like Katie as a friend. She is the sweetest person(to me, dont expect her to be very nice to you:)) Her and I have gotten very close lately. I love it. I'd also consider her one of my best friends. Finding a friend that understands you to a T is very rare in my case. Ms. Katie:) You are a doll and I would do anything for you. I even ride as a passanger in your car when you drive like a race car driver, and I don't mind:).  Stephen.... Stephen... the only guy I have met who can still love me after all the shit I go through/put him through. He understands to the best of his ability why I do certain things. He still loves me after the insane episodes I have been through. He is my best friend/soul mate. Stephen Charles Bledsoe...I love you. I rarely discuss him in my journals/myspace. This is because this relationship is far too precious/differnt than any relationship you have ever partaken in. I cannot explain our relationship and how we work. It's better to be observed. Most rare things in life are better understood by sight, not sound. My friends are the most beautiful/intelligent people I have ever met. They are not very open for new friends but when they open up, they are the most amazing humans ever.

anyway, enough of me rambling. I am very very VERY very VERY excited for something. I do not get excited for many things anymore. An old friend of mine is coming down for Alkaline Trio in April. When I think about it I get giddy. Its been SOOO long since I've seen him. I am nervous more or less. He is such a wonderful guy. When I see him I will probably hug him for ten minutes until he pushes me off. HAHA. Do not think I have a crush on this guy. Been there done that.;). He is just a friend, a friend whom I can call crying and irrational and get off the phone in smiles. He is a great guy overall. And I am fucking happy as hell to see him/ get to see alkaline trio with him. Last show we went to together was my favorite show I have ever been too.

I will stop here for now.
-Melissa
0

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